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I shake free of the chains that would bind me

If I pause and reflect I can sometimes see that many of the heavy burdens I carry with me each day are self-imposed. I have wrapped myself tightly with chains of shame, self-doubt, and unhealthy patterns. Perhaps I carry with me fear, the weight of past mistakes, or an inability to forgive myself and others. 

I am reminded of an example a good friend shared with me about the training of circus elephants.  She explained to me how the trainers are able to maintain control over these massive creatures by enforcing upon them at an early age the idea that whenever they have a chain around their ankle it is useless to resist. When these elephants are in their infancy, their “breaking in” program begins.  The elephant is first shackled between two tree trunks or a wooden frame where it is unable to move.  The elephant will struggle but eventually fear, pain, hunger and thirst lead to giving up all resistance.  Once the elephant relents and stops resisting, the “initiation stage” is complete.  The elephant has accepted a fate that it believes it can never escape, and then the real work of training the elephant for whatever lies ahead begins.  As the elephant continues to grow to adulthood, it fails to realize the power and strength it has amassed.  The elephant still believes that when it is shackled by the leg, resistance is futile and escape is not possible. The shackles in its' mind are stronger at this point than any physical chains it may carry.

 image source: http://www.px2.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/Elephant-chains-latest-1024x680.png

The chains I have allowed to take up residence in my mind are far more powerful than any external circumstances I may be faced with.  How often have I stayed shackled because I've built my own watchtowers and placed sentinels their to convince myself that escape is not possible.

I hold the keys to undo the locks and set myself free.  As I loosen them from around me I feel lighter, stronger, and able to face whatever challenges await me.  Life is difficult enough without dragging around heavy chains that limit me and undermine my potential.  I am capable of walking my path and accomplishing what I set out to do.  Today I will shake off the chains that would bind me and walk free.  

We don't need no water...

I embrace the fire of growth

The giant Sequoia tree is the largest living thing on earth and one of the most awe inspiring sights I have ever witnessed in nature. I can still remember the trip with my grandparents through Northern California when I first saw one as a boy.  They can grow over 300 feet tall and live for thousands of years. To me one of the most impressive and fascinating aspects about them is their relationship with fire. For most trees wildfires are the most devastating and destructive force possible, but for Sequoias it is central to their life cycle.

image source: http://photography.nationalgeographic.com/staticfiles/NGS/Shared/StaticFiles/Photography/Images/POD/s/sequoia-forest-fire-505503-ga.jpg

During a forest fire the heat triggers Sequoia pine cones to release their seeds.  Meanwhile the fire clears away dead growth and debris on the forest floor making room for more sunlight to shine through.  When the fire is gone it also leaves behind a bed of fertile ash that nourish the seeds as they grow.

As I travel my path and find myself in the process of growth and change I often feel as if I am in the middle of a firestorm that threatens to consume me.  I fear that it may burn wildly and leave nothing but barren scorched earth in its' wake.  The fire of conflict, adversity, pain, and struggle is also capable of refining me.  That fire clears out the old parts of me and prepares me for renewal.  I will recognize it as a part of the cycle of life and necessary for change and growth.
 

image source: http://ichef.bbci.co.uk/naturelibrary/images/ic/credit/640x395/s/se/sequoiadendron/sequoiadendron_1.jpg

Sticks and stones....

I fill up from the inside

In addition to being an amateur blogger I work as an instructor.  I have spent 12 years teaching in various capacities and I am deeply passionate about what I do.  Although it may be unreasonable to think it is possible, I do what I can to make every classroom a safe space that allows for positive learning experiences for every student.  

I appreciate all the feedback that I have received from my students over the years and it has helped me become a better teacher.  I make course evaluations available for potential students looking to take one of my classes but recently I have heard students referring to an online rating site for professors as a way to decide what instructor to take.

Unfortunately the site that students use for these reviews is not particularly reliable.  The sample size of responses as compared to the number of students who actually have experience with the instructor is very low. It also has no way to determine if a review is even written by a student that has taken the class. Unlike end of semester reviews that students fill out to evaluate a class this online site is geared towards students.  Even though I know these things I couldn't help but search my name to see what students had to say.  I wasn't doing it to improve my teaching, I just wanted to hear that I was liked. 

The most recent review was less than glowing.  It hurt.

Seeking constant validation or relying solely on others for acknowledgement is like trying to fill a leaky bucket with water.  I will look inward and recognize my worth. If I find holes or worn places I will work to patch them rather than seeking for others to fill me up and convince me of my value. I am worthy of others love, most of all I am worth loving myself just as I am. 

I triple dog dare you

I am daring greatly

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. 

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement; and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly; so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat."

Theodore Roosevelt

Better together

I am strengthened by my bonds with others

I have not been able to ride my motorcycle for 2 weeks.  Not because I think it's too cold but I seem to have an electrical problem and I am having trouble getting it started.  Beyond knowing it's probably electrical I do not have the first idea what is wrong or how to go about fixing it. 

I have often tried to go it alone in life.  Somewhere along my path I think I picked up the idea that I'm supposed to be able to figure things out and do it all on my own.  When I run into something that I am unable to do it frustrates me.  The last thing I want is to ask someone for help.  Even when help is offered I often turn it down. 

It feels deeply satisfying to help others and to share my gifts with them or assist others along their path.  Why do I deny that opportunity to others by refusing to ask for help when I need it?

I am learning that my greatest strength comes from the threads that tie me together with others. The things I value most in this life have not been accomplished on my own working in solitude or relying upon my own strength. When I recognize the need to work with others toward a common goal I see the foolishness of believing that I have to rely only on myself or that it is weakness to ask for help. A single thread is easily broken but when woven together with others grows in strength exponentially becoming powerful and unbreakable. 

I am very excited that help has been offered to fix my bike and I am gratefully accepting it knowing that it strengthens us both.  I'm grateful for everyone I know that is willing to reach out to assist me along my path.  It is so much nicer walking together!

Are we there yet?

I acknowledge my progress 

It's 7 days into 2013 and I have yet to accomplish all my goals!  Lasting change is not a quick process.  It seems to come slowly and at times can feel constantly just out of reach. Because it happens slowly I may not recognize what progress I have made. It is important to pause and realize that how far I've come is more important than how much further I have yet to go.

I will take time to pause and reflect on my victories and remain hopeful for future success. The journey is long and I have only to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. 

For the silent and tone-deaf

I have a voice and I am sharing it

What makes a chorus so powerful and moving is the way each voice and sound blends together.  No one part is favored but it is a flow of voices moving together in an intricate dance that creates a whole far greater than any of its' parts. If a voice is silenced, sings too loudly, or tries to sing a part other than it's own it creates a cacophony of noise instead of music. 

I have an important role and my voice is irreplaceable.  I have unique abilities and talents that make me a crucial part of my relationships, workplace, community, family, church, and everywhere that I am interconnected with others.  I am not meant to mimic someone else, be silenced, or to scream out just to be noticed.  I will recognize the importance of my voice, find my part, and share it harmoniously.

 Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent.  ~Victor Hugo