About Affirmations

Affirmations are a positive assertion of what you know or desire to be true.  The problem with what I sometimes know or want to be true cognitively, doesn't always necessarily match what I feel.  Affirmations help me to make a connection, or a mind-body bridge that takes a thought and gives it the power to be realized.  That process of connecting my mind and heart is one of the things that help me through the challenges life brings and to continue walking the path of my personal truth.

I didn't always have such a positive outlook regarding affirmations.  My first exposure to the term was from Saturday Night Live sketches about Stuart Smalley.  

My initial judgement of the character and the idea of these silly affirmations was.....harsh.  It sounded to me like what weak people do who have no self-esteem.  Even at that young age I was already becoming a master at hiding any emotions when they seemed socially unacceptable or didn't match up with what I thought I should or should not be feeling.

My biggest barrier to happiness and an authentic life has been the lies I've learned to believe about myself.  Internally I hear myself saying things that work to sabotage even my best efforts.

"You can't do that."
"Who do you think you are?"
"I'm such a faker."
"Nobody could love me if they really knew me."
"I am a failure."
"I don't deserve to be happy."
"I'm alone.  I can't count on anybody."
"Nobody really cares."
"I'm not (tall, attractive, in-shape, smart, funny, wealthy, young, old, etc etc) enough."
"I'm only loved for what I do for others."
"My mistakes are so much worse."
"Everyone will laugh at me."
"You're such a screw-up."
"You're a disappointment."

Negative self talk keeps me stuck in old patterns of behavior.  It keeps me afraid and unwilling to change.  I find myself in the spiral of a constant self-fulfilling prophecy where I think the worst of myself and find ways to confirm it in everything I do or keep myself from doing.  One of the ways I have exhibited this in my life is a strong need for approval from others.  I wanted to hear from others that I was smart, kind, funny, or whatever I thought I should be for others to like me.  I might not go fishing for compliments per-say, but I sure worked hard for and craved that type of praise.  Once I would secure those words I so desperately was seeking I always found myself feeling a powerful and almost sickening mixture of shame, pride, and self-loathing.  I felt bad for needing others to give me praise and I immediately rejected whatever they had to say! I would be self-deprecating or feigned humility because of how completely uncomfortable it would make me feel.  I couldn't take a compliment because I didn't feel I was worthy of it.  

The affirmations I share here are based on the premise that we are all worthy of happiness and reaching our full potential.  Worth isn't something we have to earn but that we are born with.  No matter what we've been through or the things we may regret having done, our intrinsic worth is never a question.  A friend of mine provided a good analogy recently when he explained it like this.  "Gold is gold.  It doesn't matter if you drop it in dirt or rub shit on it.  It's still gold.  The value of it doesn't change and it retains its' worth regardless of what it has been through."

I write affirmations to help me connect with myself emotionally and spiritually, and walk authentically my path of personal truth. The first step I usually take is to check-in with myself through meditation, prayer, or self-reflection to find what I am in need of.  What negative self-talk is holding me back, what am I struggling with, or what do I need to push into for me to grow?

Affirmations are most effective when spoken in the first person.  It helps to say it aloud and to repeat it throughout the day as needed.  It is also very useful to reflect at the end of the day how the affirmation impacted how you felt or approached certain situations.  An affirmation should also include an action and be spoken "as if" it is already true.  It isn't "fake it 'till you make it," the idea of acting "as if" is that you are already there and just need a reminder to give you the driving force to embrace that reality. I like to sometimes connect my affirmations to experiences, quotes, music, or other things that reinforce them for me but hopefully it can be of value to you even if you just read the daily affirmation (you will always find them at the top or bottom of the page in italics and bold type.)

I hope that some of my experiences and the things that I am looking to affirm resonate with you in some way.  I would also encourage you to begin writing personal affirmations that can address whatever you may be needing at the moment.  I have seen it make a difference for me and am confident it can for you as well.

Thanks for joining me on the journey!