~*~*~
It's okay, I can do my best
March 11th I came home from 1st grade to my dad and showed him my grade on school. I was sad that my class didn't get all 4's like I did. And I said that it doesn't matter if you get all 4's on your grades. And to just do your best. It kind of feels scary in 2nd grade that I won't understand the new things that are in 2nd grade. And in 2nd grade I will tell myself to just do my best. To follow the rules and listen, be nice, play with other people and be nice to each other.
--Makenna C.
Age 6
March 30, 2013
--Ruth LaDart
March 31, 2013
snuglyfriends.blogspot.com
There are so many times I want to deny what I have experienced. Maybe because it's not pretty, or because I feel redness seeping into my cheeks as I even think about sharing. Or perhaps it is, as I've even found when writing this affirmation, I find myself thinking, "Who cares? What does it matter to anyone else?"
I have to remind myself that it is important. It matters.
For me, part of the challenge has been in learning to own my story. Yet, when I am able to own it, I know it in the way that my movements and words embody the story and honors my truth. It's the difference between trying to push the truth behind me so no one sees it or letting it become simply a part of who I have become - just like my strands of gray hair and the laugh lines around my eyes.
The second hardest part? Sharing my story. Yet, the moments I am able to be honest and share what I thought no one would understand or want to hear have brought the most unexpected people closer. I've begun to learn that when I share my story, I give permission to others to tell theirs. Whether in a small whisper or a loud "ME TOO!" - I have allowed space for truth to be seen and recognized.
This is how we come to know ourselves and know others.
My story is important. Your story is important.
The world needs our voices.
--Stephanie
April 2, 2013
visibleandreal.wordpress.com
twitter @visibleandreal
I had a great time at the camp. I enjoyed the sunny spring weather in the
desert and the natural beauty there. In
the morning we broke camp and got ready to leave. I was a little nervous about driving out, but
this time knew what to do. After
starting the car, I sped up, got some good momentum and just kept driving. I could see where I got stuck before and I
drove around it. It was a bumpy ride,
but I made it to the paved road without incident.
~*~*~
When I quiet my mind, I see things with more clarity
I was excited and immediately anxious when asked to write a guest post. My mind has been a disorganized mess trying to extract an affirmation. The more I thought about affirmations, the more I doubted I had anything substantial to offer.
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| image source: http://www.stormchasing.ca/ |
I struggle with indecisiveness. Even when I make a choice, I often find the doubt creeping in that I could have made a better call, or I should have gone in a different direction. If you could see my mind it would resemble a tornado; a dizzy, churning mess. It's no wonder I hesitate with decisions, especially when my thoughts are all over the place.
When my mind is focused on a task and it slows down a bit, I have a much different viewpoint. Sitting today and sewing, my affirmation came to me, and rather than change my mind a dozen different times (which I had up to that point) I knew I struck the issue I needed to address.
Sitting and talking with Clair yesterday, we commented on how uncomplicated a young person's mind works. There aren't years of catalogs that muddle their heads and bamboozle their thoughts. While my mind may not process things as minimally as a child's does, I can slow it down by focusing on what's at hand. When I focus on one thing at a time, the other thoughts swirling in my head are quieted. I am my best for myself and others when my mind is clear and free from unrelated distractions.
I will take time to quiet my mind and focus on things independently.
--Ruth LaDart
March 31, 2013
snuglyfriends.blogspot.com
~*~*~
Owning and sharing my story is important.
I have to remind myself that it is important. It matters.
For me, part of the challenge has been in learning to own my story. Yet, when I am able to own it, I know it in the way that my movements and words embody the story and honors my truth. It's the difference between trying to push the truth behind me so no one sees it or letting it become simply a part of who I have become - just like my strands of gray hair and the laugh lines around my eyes.
The second hardest part? Sharing my story. Yet, the moments I am able to be honest and share what I thought no one would understand or want to hear have brought the most unexpected people closer. I've begun to learn that when I share my story, I give permission to others to tell theirs. Whether in a small whisper or a loud "ME TOO!" - I have allowed space for truth to be seen and recognized.
This is how we come to know ourselves and know others.
My story is important. Your story is important.
The world needs our voices.
--Stephanie
April 2, 2013
visibleandreal.wordpress.com
twitter @visibleandreal
~*~*~
Sand in my Shoes
When I was as a young Boy Scout, one of my favorite places
to camp was at the Little Sahara Sand Dunes.
I remember playing touch football for hours at night, running barefoot in
the cooling sand with only the moon for light. When I got home I poured buckets of sand out
of my shoes, but I didn’t care, I had so much fun.
This month my sons’ Boy Scout troop went camping at some sand
dunes near the Little Sahara. I got off
work early on Friday to meet them there. They didn’t go to the regular
campgrounds that I remember, but to one further away, one without all of the ATVs
zooming around.
The one downside to their out-of-the-way campsite was the
quarter mile dirt road that I had to take to get there. At first the gravel road was decent, but soon
the dips got bigger and bigger. I was
doing well, taking it easy until I turned a corner and came upon deep, loose
sand. Before I knew it I was stuck. I got out, dismayed to see the front tires
deep in sand. I wanted to push it or dig
it out myself, but it was soon obvious that I couldn’t do it alone. I swallowed my pride and trekked the rest of
the way to the camp to ask for help. The
scouts came over but were unsuccessfully in digging or pushing me out. Luckily one of the scout leaders had a big
truck, so he hooked up a strap and pulled me out.
I had a great time at the camp. I enjoyed the sunny spring weather in the
desert and the natural beauty there. In
the morning we broke camp and got ready to leave. I was a little nervous about driving out, but
this time knew what to do. After
starting the car, I sped up, got some good momentum and just kept driving. I could see where I got stuck before and I
drove around it. It was a bumpy ride,
but I made it to the paved road without incident.
This experience gave me a lot to think about and things that I can affirm for myself:
1.
Spinning my wheels in the proverbial sand gets
me nowhere.
2.
Some problems I can’t get out of by myself.
3.
People will help when I’m humble enough to ask
for it.
4.
I can learn from previous pitfalls and know how
to avoid them.
5.
I don’t get stuck when I maintain momentum.
6.
Sometimes I just need to get sand in my shoes
and have fun.
--Eric C.
April 7, 2013
~*~*~
My Ability to Love
Is Greater than any Wound
I will Experience
Life is
challenging…I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s supposed to be. I believe that every person struggles and
nobody is exempt from difficulties. I
believe that people do their best with the skills they have and that the world
breaks everyone.
There was a time in my life when the idea of getting married and bringing
children into this world created a lot of anxiety. I didn’t feel capable of bringing a child
into a world I knew could be so harsh and cruel and helping them navigate
through it. Fortunately for me, my
husband isn’t the kind who gives up easily and loved me until I felt safe
enough to love him back. Three years
after we were married, our first of four daughters was born. Suddenly, the world seemed a different place;
what was once harsh and cruel now seemed to hold such beauty and hope. I had no idea that this level of love lived
inside me. I loved seeing the world
through my daughter’s eyes as they made each new discovery; the feel of grass
on bare feet for the first time, figuring out how to sound out words or
mastering that multiplication problem.
My daughter’s ages now span from 17 years to 10 years old. They’re old enough to have experienced heart
break. To learn for themselves that life
can be cruel. One of the lessons I hope
they are also learning is best summed up by Pink: “we’re not broken, just bent and we can learn
to love again.”
I still get lost at times. Unsure.
Scared. Sad. I still have days where I need to be reminded to let go and to
open up. As I go through all kinds of
feelings and experiences in my journey through life---surprise, delight,
chagrin, dismay, betrayal and disappointment, I hold this question as a guiding
light: “What do I really need right now
to be happy?” What I come to over and
over again is that only qualities as vast and deep as love, connection and
kindness will really make me happy in any sort of enduring way.
--Jackie Pack
April 8, 2013
Twitter: @pack_packjackie
~*~*~
My pain is real, it is valid, it has impacted me,
and it is a valuable avenue for me
to find the connection and meaning I seek
with those who's relationships I value the most
I have a three year old little boy, he is sweet, thoughtful, smart, and full of life. About two weeks ago, he was playing with some friends and stepped on a thumb tack. He was quickly comforted by the neighbor who's house it was and he was back to playing in no time.
He and I have a little tradition each morning- because of scheduling demands at work, a few nights a week, I am in the office past his bedtime. In the morning when he wakes up, we sit on the living room couch and he tells me about what he did the previous day. The morning after he stepped on the tack he came out of his room limping and whimpering and told me that he, "stepped on a thumb yesterday." He often tells my wife and I about little hurts or discomforts- some emotional and some physical- and the expected response is: "Can I kiss it better?"
I didn't know what had happened the night before- so I didn't know what, "I stepped on a thumb yesterday" meant, but I responded as he expected, "I'm sorry buddy, can I kiss it better?" We took care of the hurt with a kiss and his limp was miraculously gone.
As I thought about our exchange later that day, I laughed at what I perceived as some dramatization on his part- clearly his foot didn't hurt enough to legitimately warrant a limp, a kiss made it all better. Then it struck me- he didn't want help with any physical pain- he wanted acknowledgement that his pain was real and that it impacted him at one point in time.
I often tell myself, "I am over it, it doesn't hurt anymore" and I don't tell the story of my pain to anyone. I miss out on an opportunity to connect and to have my experience recognized and validated when I only share pain that I currently feel.
My pain is real, it is valid, it has impacted me, and it is a valuable avenue for me to find the connection and meaning I seek with those who's relationships I value the most.
--Jonathan Taylor
April 21, 2013
goodstoriesmatter.blogspot.com
--Jonathan Taylor
April 21, 2013
goodstoriesmatter.blogspot.com
~*~*~
I am slowing down to pace myself
and maintain balance
and maintain balance
In my line of work I am constantly looking at making decisions based on the inherit risks. I have to determine what risks are acceptable and how does my organization manage those risks if we decide to accept them. One thing I look for is trends from year to year. If the trend is negative, I ask myself if I believe it can reasonably be corrected or reversed. If it is a positive trend I ask if it is sustainable over a long period.
As I examine my personal life I can take the same approach. If I have a negative behavior impacting my life can it be corrected or reversed? If I have a positive behavior is it a behavior that I can sustain for the rest of my life?
Sometimes when I am feeling particularly motivated with the desire to change a bad behavior I go all out and take drastic measures to change. The problem with this is that it is not sustainable and consequently does not fit my lifestyle, so I end up burning out, quitting, and resuming with the same poor behavior. If I am going to make a permanent change then it has to balance with the rest of my life.
As a hobby I enjoy long distance running. I have run multiple marathons in the last 5 years. I am by no means the fastest person out there, but relatively speaking I am faster than most, and usually finish in the top 5%. The reason I bring this up is not to brag, it is because it reminds me of an article I read this last year on running that indicated research showed the long term benefit of running on cardiovascular health is better for those who run at a more moderate pace. For men, who typically train at a pace faster than 8:00/mile, they begin to see deterioration in heart health later in life as a result of the intense strain put on the body earlier in life. Those who train at a slower pace, and were able to maintain that training, enjoyed a positive benefit of long term health. As my high school track coach used to always say to us distance runners, “If you go out too fast you will pay for it double at the end.”
This is just another reminder that perhaps the best approach is to slow down. I believe the key to a sustainable positive lifestyle is balance and moderation. That is what I am seeking. I see areas in my life where I am way out of balance and adjustments need to be made, but I am going to try and tackle them gradually with patience. I am going to look at finding balance more like a marathon than a sprint. I can’t just hurry and find balance. I need to work and prepare and take my time so that I am able to keep moving forward when life happens and tries to push me further out of balance.
Tyler
June 4, 2013
~*~*~
I struggle with feelings of low self worth. I tend to work myself up when it comes to dealing with how I feel others see me. In my mind I see the pieces of my personality that are unfavorable or physical features that are not as attractive, and I focus my energy on the bad and convince myself that others see all my perceived flaws as well.
Any of you that know me well, know my relationship with my boyfriend has been back and forth enough to cause whiplash. Our first break-up was over a burrito. That day I had been helping a friend move, which was disorganized and exhausting. I was far beyond the point of hungry, and I decided to stop for food. I invited my boyfriend to meet us for lunch. I picked up some tacos for my friend, a burrito for my boyfriend, and a vegetarian option for myself. The poor excuse for a burrito I received was disappointing to say the least. Cheese inside a tortilla, does not a burrito make! It was disgusting, but I was so hungry that I decided to use the only form of flavoring available to me (lime slices) and eat it anyway. I proceeded to drown my sorry burrito with lime juice. My boyfriend looks up from his hearty carne asada burrito and gave me this look. I was so frustrated and tired that I interpreted his look as utter disgust with me. I jumped up, freaked out, told him it was over and walked away. In my mind I convinced myself that he didn't like me, found me unattractive and gross etc....all because of the way he looked at me.
Even when I'm struggling with feelings of low self-esteem and worthlessness it is not the way that others actually view me. I am my worst critic and will miss out on relationships and opportunities if I continue to push others away. I am good enough.
Joy C.
June 10, 2013
First, allow me a professional example. Earlier this year, I found myself feeling a “stuck” in my position at work. I’d worked really hard and made some corporate-wide contributions in a global company. I hoped to have an opportunity to grow, stretch beyond my duties and attain a higher title. On my daily morning walks to work, I’d say aloud, “I am valued in my workplace, I am well-paid, and I am a manager.” At the time my title was still “Specialist,” but I wanted to really believe I could be recognized as a higher title. I would get discouraged at times, but kept saying my affirmations. Over and over, I pictured myself with a new job title and a raise. Within months, a new opportunity came along. I applied. I was selected, and promoted to a manager position. And you know what? The first time I was eligible to attend the corporate-wide manager meeting for 250+ people, I was asked to present my latest project to all the other managers!
During this same timeframe, I’d been quite heartbroken on the home front. I learned the precious fragility of life, having experienced an early miscarriage. I ached. I grieved. I wondered if it was my fault. Without being able to change the past, I decided to prepare for the next time I’d have the opportunity. I started telling myself, “My body, mind, and spirit are ready to welcome a child.” Whenever I felt very sad, I’d say my affirmation aloud, hoping it was really true.
My daughter will have a whole world of potential open to her. You and I do too, and the affirmations can help us be the people we hope to be. Here's a quote on being the creator in your own life:
Crystalee Beck
Tyler
June 4, 2013
~*~*~
I am working on the framework to strengthen my family
I was at my sister's house a couple of days ago and noticed her To Do list on the kitchen table. Less than a week earlier, I was at another sister's house and saw her To Do list as well. It's been a while since I made my own list of things to do, and I've forgotten how much it helps to write down the things I want to accomplish each day. Without a list I'm still likely to be as busy as I would be with a list, but the difference is the satisfaction and peace of mind I enjoy when I check off the things that need to be addressed the most. I'm not sure why I do it, but I find that I push aside and procrastinate doing the things that should be a higher priority.
I have always considered myself to be a fairly organized person, but when my boys entered the picture, I noticed that I started losing my edge. We don't have a very strict lifestyle as far as regular mealtimes or normal daily routines. I always figured that stuff wasn't as terribly important as a reliable bedtime. I realize now that it is. I had one of my boys screened for ADHD, and he does appear to have the disorder. The doctor recommended that I do the very things I've not been doing...structure our days and give him a stable routine with consistent discipline.
I am intimidated with the task of creating a standard routine, and I'm still resisting and struggling with the idea. Just when school is ending for the boys' cousins and friends, and summer is approaching with so many fun activities in store for them, I'm faced with the task of tightening the reins instead of loosening up.
I have to keep in mind that structure isn't a bad thing and that it will help my son and in return help me and my sanity. Just as a building relies on its foundation and framework, I realize that we need the same kind of stability. It may take me some time to find what works for us, but a daily To Do list will help me get there and keep me focused on the things that are the most important right now. We can still enjoy the summer and all the fun it holds, but the trick will be to discover how to balance that fun with the structure we need to create.
Ruth L.
June 7, 2013
Ruth L.
June 7, 2013
~*~*~
I am silencing the negative critic within
Any of you that know me well, know my relationship with my boyfriend has been back and forth enough to cause whiplash. Our first break-up was over a burrito. That day I had been helping a friend move, which was disorganized and exhausting. I was far beyond the point of hungry, and I decided to stop for food. I invited my boyfriend to meet us for lunch. I picked up some tacos for my friend, a burrito for my boyfriend, and a vegetarian option for myself. The poor excuse for a burrito I received was disappointing to say the least. Cheese inside a tortilla, does not a burrito make! It was disgusting, but I was so hungry that I decided to use the only form of flavoring available to me (lime slices) and eat it anyway. I proceeded to drown my sorry burrito with lime juice. My boyfriend looks up from his hearty carne asada burrito and gave me this look. I was so frustrated and tired that I interpreted his look as utter disgust with me. I jumped up, freaked out, told him it was over and walked away. In my mind I convinced myself that he didn't like me, found me unattractive and gross etc....all because of the way he looked at me.
Even when I'm struggling with feelings of low self-esteem and worthlessness it is not the way that others actually view me. I am my worst critic and will miss out on relationships and opportunities if I continue to push others away. I am good enough.
Joy C.
June 10, 2013
~*~*~
I create my
life experiences
Isn’t the
power of words phenomenal? While I’ve been interested in the power of positive
affirmations ever since I came across a Louise Hay book
several years ago, 2013 has won me over completely. I’ve learned this year,
through personal and professional experience, that the words I tell myself
become my thoughts, and gradually form my beliefs. My beliefs dictate my
experiences. Therefore, if I want to change my experiences, I must start with
what I tell myself.
First, allow me a professional example. Earlier this year, I found myself feeling a “stuck” in my position at work. I’d worked really hard and made some corporate-wide contributions in a global company. I hoped to have an opportunity to grow, stretch beyond my duties and attain a higher title. On my daily morning walks to work, I’d say aloud, “I am valued in my workplace, I am well-paid, and I am a manager.” At the time my title was still “Specialist,” but I wanted to really believe I could be recognized as a higher title. I would get discouraged at times, but kept saying my affirmations. Over and over, I pictured myself with a new job title and a raise. Within months, a new opportunity came along. I applied. I was selected, and promoted to a manager position. And you know what? The first time I was eligible to attend the corporate-wide manager meeting for 250+ people, I was asked to present my latest project to all the other managers!
During this same timeframe, I’d been quite heartbroken on the home front. I learned the precious fragility of life, having experienced an early miscarriage. I ached. I grieved. I wondered if it was my fault. Without being able to change the past, I decided to prepare for the next time I’d have the opportunity. I started telling myself, “My body, mind, and spirit are ready to welcome a child.” Whenever I felt very sad, I’d say my affirmation aloud, hoping it was really true.
That
was a couple seasons ago. As I write these words, I'm now 28 weeks
pregnant. Every day now I say, "My baby grows healthy, happy, and strong
to full term." And she does! What delight my husband and I had when we
went to the doctor a few weeks ago and looking at the ultrasound he
said, "She's looking healthy and happy," confirming my affirmation. I've
completed a Hypnobirthing class, learning to release fear. Every night
as I listen to a series of birthing affirmations, my confidence in
myself, my body, and my baby grows. It's empowering to replace former
fears of birth with joy and excitement - all by the power of
affirmations. She will be welcomed into this world peacefully.
My daughter will have a whole world of potential open to her. You and I do too, and the affirmations can help us be the people we hope to be. Here's a quote on being the creator in your own life:
"You
have two creators - God and yourself. God furnished you the raw
material of your life and the laws which can help you make your life
whatever you want it to be. You are your second creator! It is what you
make of yourself that really counts. You are great because of what you
may become. And, you have wonderful powers you don't yet understand. You
were placed on this earth, not as finality but as possibility. Your
greatest enemy is yourself. In your weakness you are a creature of circumstances; in your strength you are the creator of circumstances. Whether you are a victim or a victor depends largely on you and how you exercise the power of self-control."
- David Star Jordon (a former president of Stanford University), "The Kingship of Self Control"
Indeed, I'm the victor in my own life. I create my life experiences. And as my baby grows, I will teach her to do the same.
Crystalee Beck
November, 2013
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