To Do (Guest Post Ruth)

I am grateful to have another guest post by my sister Ruthie. Her contributions here and the support she has selflessly offered me is invaluable. 

~*~*~

I am working on the framework to strengthen my family

I was at my sister's house a couple of days ago and noticed her To Do list on the kitchen table. Less than a week earlier, I was at another sister's house and saw her To Do list as well. It's been a while since I made my own list of things to do, and I've forgotten how much it helps to write down the things I want to accomplish each day.  Without a list I'm still likely to be as busy as I would be with a list, but the difference is the satisfaction and peace of mind I enjoy when I check off the things that need to be addressed the most. I'm not sure why I do it, but I find that I push aside and procrastinate doing the things that should be a higher priority.

I have always considered myself to be a fairly organized person, but when my boys entered the picture, I noticed that I started losing my edge. We don't have a very strict lifestyle as far as regular mealtimes or normal daily routines. I always figured that stuff wasn't as terribly important as a reliable bedtime. I realize now that it is. I had one of my boys screened for ADHD, and he does appear to have the disorder. The doctor recommended that I do the very things I've not been doing...structure our days and give him a stable routine with consistent discipline. 

I am intimidated with the task of creating a standard routine, and I'm still resisting and struggling with the idea. Just when school is ending for the boys' cousins and friends, and summer is approaching with so many fun activities in store for them, I'm faced with the task of tightening the reins instead of loosening up. 

I have to keep in mind that structure isn't a bad thing and that it will help my son and in return help me and my sanity. Just as a building relies on its foundation and framework, I realize that we need the same kind of stability. It may take me some time to find what works for us, but a daily To Do list will help me get there and keep me focused on the things that are the most important right now. We can still enjoy the summer and all the fun it holds, but the trick will be to discover how to balance that fun with the structure we need to create.

Ruth L.
www.snuglyfriends.com

Marathoning (Guest Post - Tyler)

It is my distinct pleasure to welcome Tyler as a guest poster. Although I disagree with who he roots for in baseball, I have great respect and admiration for Tyler. I am amazed at how he can nonchalantly mention he ran 10 miles for fun today, when to me it sounds like pure punishment. 

I am slowing down to pace myself
 and maintain balance

In my line of work I am constantly looking at making decisions based on the inherit risks. I have to determine what risks are acceptable and how does my organization manage those risks if we decide to accept them. One thing I look for is trends from year to year. If the trend is negative, I ask myself if I believe it can reasonably be corrected or reversed. If it is a positive trend I ask if it is sustainable over a long period.

As I examine my personal life I can take the same approach. If I have a negative behavior impacting my life can it be corrected or reversed? If I have a positive behavior is it a behavior that I can sustain for the rest of my life?

Sometimes when I am feeling particularly motivated with the desire to change a bad behavior I go all out and take drastic measures to change. The problem with this is that it is not sustainable and consequently does not fit my lifestyle, so I end up burning out, quitting, and resuming with the same poor behavior. If I am going to make a permanent change then it has to balance with the rest of my life.

As a hobby I enjoy long distance running. I have run multiple marathons in the last 5 years. I am by no means the fastest person out there, but relatively speaking I am faster than most, and usually finish in the top 5%. The reason I bring this up is not to brag, it is because it reminds me of an article I read this last year on running that indicated research showed the long term benefit of running on cardiovascular health is better for those who run at a more moderate pace. For men, who typically train at a pace faster than 8:00/mile, they begin to see deterioration in heart health later in life as a result of the intense strain put on the body earlier in life. Those who train at a slower pace, and were able to maintain that training, enjoyed a positive benefit of long term health.  As my high school track coach used to always say to us distance runners, “If you go out too fast you will pay for it double at the end.”

This is just another reminder that perhaps the best approach is to slow down. I believe the key to a sustainable positive lifestyle is balance and moderation. That is what I am seeking. I see areas in my life where I am way out of balance and adjustments need to be made, but I am going to try and tackle them gradually with patience. I am going to look at finding balance more like a marathon than a sprint. I can’t just hurry and find balance. I need to work and prepare and take my time so that I am able to keep moving forward when life happens and tries to push me further out of balance.

Everyone struggles

When faced with challenges I will not give up

I have found it difficult to post recently. My change and growth process has brought me to a place where I feel a lot of uncertainty and that has had an impact on my ability to write. Although I am actively trying to figure some things out it has felt a bit too vulnerable for me to post with the regularity and openness I have committed to doing here. I am appreciative of those of you who have noticed my absence and have still stuck around. I also have deep gratitude for others who have reached out to offer support or concern. Because of my tendency to withdraw in times of struggle one of the wonderful benefits of writing my affirmations here is that I can no longer slink away quietly without someone noticing. 

Until I find more solid footing in my writing I will be posting a few quotes, thoughts, or things that I have grabbed onto along the way that have helped me. I will also be posting a few guest affirmations and I welcome anyone who would like to add there voice here. If you are interested in sharing please email me at canfieldaffirmations@gmail.com

Today what has helped me was a reminder that everyone struggles. Even though I have admiration and respect for people who struggle with their challenges, when I experience struggles I view them as weakness or failure. It was helpful for me today to see that it is not the struggles that define me but how I choose to respond to them. I may not know how to handle them, but simply not giving up is sometimes the most courageous thing I can do.  

Thanks for your patience and continuing to walk with me along my journey, especially when it gets bumpy. Traveling together is so much nicer!