Everyone struggles

When faced with challenges I will not give up

I have found it difficult to post recently. My change and growth process has brought me to a place where I feel a lot of uncertainty and that has had an impact on my ability to write. Although I am actively trying to figure some things out it has felt a bit too vulnerable for me to post with the regularity and openness I have committed to doing here. I am appreciative of those of you who have noticed my absence and have still stuck around. I also have deep gratitude for others who have reached out to offer support or concern. Because of my tendency to withdraw in times of struggle one of the wonderful benefits of writing my affirmations here is that I can no longer slink away quietly without someone noticing. 

Until I find more solid footing in my writing I will be posting a few quotes, thoughts, or things that I have grabbed onto along the way that have helped me. I will also be posting a few guest affirmations and I welcome anyone who would like to add there voice here. If you are interested in sharing please email me at canfieldaffirmations@gmail.com

Today what has helped me was a reminder that everyone struggles. Even though I have admiration and respect for people who struggle with their challenges, when I experience struggles I view them as weakness or failure. It was helpful for me today to see that it is not the struggles that define me but how I choose to respond to them. I may not know how to handle them, but simply not giving up is sometimes the most courageous thing I can do.  

Thanks for your patience and continuing to walk with me along my journey, especially when it gets bumpy. Traveling together is so much nicer!

I'm no Michelle Kwan

I will rise up each time I fall

When I arrived home yesterday I discovered that somebody had replaced my driveway with an ice-skating rink.  Seeing as how my figure skates are currently in the shop I decided the best course of action was to grab a shovel and start scraping.

While I was attempting to clear the driveway I got a phone call from my friend.  We joked around about how ridiculous the weather was and just as he was explaining to me the various meteorological conditions that accounted for the freezing rain I dropped the phone and my feet flew out from underneath me.I struggled for several seconds to get off my knees and retrieve the phone.  It was not my finest moment but I finally got back on my feet.  I decided to retreat to the warmth of indoors and the relative safety of carpeted floors. 

Walking the path of my personal truth is not an easy journey.  I often come across difficult circumstances, obstacles that block my way, and stretches of road that are treacherous.  Having my feet slip out from under me and taking a few falls is to be expected.  The key is not to avoid ever falling, but to rise back up when I do.

This picture of Kanji writing is a Japanese proverb that when translated means, fall down seven times get up eight.  In any difficult journey there will be times of struggle.  Daring to make changes and reaching to realize my potential can only be thwarted if I fail to get back up when I fall.  I will make mistakes. I will slip and fall. Each time I do I will get to my feet, dust myself off and trudge on. 

Dreaming

image source: http://wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net/80450F/98kool.com/files/2011/01/mlk.gif

I find hope and redemption in my suffering

Driving in the car today I had an opportunity to listen to my all-time favorite speech, Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I have a dream." He delivered it on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial in 1963.  As I was listening I was moved by a few lines that felt particularly poignant to me that I had not paid attention to before.

"I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow jail cells. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive." (italics added)

Although I am unable to understand what those experiences of injustice and racism were like during that time, I take inspiration for my own trials by how he viewed suffering and hope.  I have often thought that some of the circumstances of my life are unfair and it was if I was being battered by storms.

"Where is the justice?"
"Why me?" 

Some of my suffering comes at the hands of others who have hurt me.  It is also likely that I have caused others to suffer.  How do I respond to unearned suffering?  Do I see it as a doorway to bitterness, or a pathway to redemption?  Here is what Dr. King had to say:

"My personal trials have also taught me the value of unmerited suffering. As my sufferings mounted I soon realized that there were two ways that I could respond to my situation: either to react with bitterness or seek to transform the suffering into a creative force. I decided to follow the latter course. Recognizing the necessity for suffering I have tried to make of it virtue. If only to save myself from bitterness, I have attempted to see my personal ordeals as an opportunity to transform myself and heal the people involved in the tragic situation, which now obtains. I have lived these last few years with the conviction that unearned suffering is redemptive."

Martin Luther King Jr (1929 - 1968)

The creative force that he harnessed changed the course of history and affected millions of lives.  Although he suffered challenges and persecution he maintained hope.  Here is another excerpt from his speech: 

"...This is our hope. This is the faith that I go back to the South with. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. [italics added] With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day."

What can I learn from the suffering in my life?  How can I find hope in even the most dire of circumstances?  Today I will see redemption in my suffering and hope in times of despair. 

2 packs, 1 hiker, no water

I am drawing on deep inner strength and accomplishing the amazing

I love stories of courage, strength, and especially when someone seems to overcome impossible odds.  They give me hope and inspire me while at the very same time causing me to doubt myself.   I wish I could do what they did but I'm convinced I can't.
 

The thin line between inspiration and doubt is the battleground I need to fight within myself.  I think there is a reason why those stories resonate deep within me.  I look at the circumstances in my life and I feel like an underdog. 

"How could I possibly overcome this?"
"If only I was stronger, more courageous, motivated, smart....."

Doubt sets in and I lose heart.  I believe everyone is capable of amazing things but for it to be called out of us requires a challenge and the courage to take a step towards our greatness even if we doubt.

Last year I took a trip to Coyote Gulch in Southern Utah with some family.  It was early August and for that time of year it is considered the off-season because of the extreme heat. To stay properly hydrated while hiking in those types of conditions requires around 1.5 liters of water per hour which is just under half a gallon.  The trip was planned for 4 days.  Our longest hike was planned for day 3 and after already hiking for 12 miles that day we had to rethink our plans.  A possible storm was due to arrive the next day and the route we had chosen to climb in and out of the canyon would likely become impassable with any moisture at all on the rock.

It was agreed that we should make the trip back out of the canyon that evening.  It was already late in the afternoon and we were all exhausted.  I was most concerned about my dad who has had trouble with his knees and to hike another 3 miles through the heat, over sand and slick rock, with a full pack was not going to be easy.  My siblings and I let him take a nap while we broke camp and started hauling packs up out of the canyon.  Just getting us and the packs up took far longer than expected and I had already consumed half the water I had packed for the return trip out.  As I saw my Dad struggling to make his way up the climb I decided there was no way I was going to let him strap on his pack for the rest of the hike out.  I knew he would resist and decline the offer so before there was a chance to discuss it I put my pack on and then picked up his and started hiking out.  I wasn't sure how far I could go, but I just kept trying to put one foot in front of the other (even though I couldn't see them.)  I did my best to stay far enough ahead of my father that I could rest when needed but that he still would not be able to catch me.  I ran out of what little warm water I had left half-way back to the truck and the heat was unrelenting, but whenever I thought I couldn't do it any longer I tried to take one more step.  Somehow we all eventually made it back to the vehicle before dark.  I was exhausted but felt a deep sense of satisfaction for having been able to do something that was so difficult.

The struggles I face aren't always so dramatic and usually are internal.  Writing this blog terrifies me sometimes.  I feel vulnerable and I put myself in a place that is very uncomfortable for me.  This affirmation is what I needed and came up with yesterday but I was too afraid to write it.  I doubt my writing, I doubt if it will make a difference for anyone else, I doubt if anyone will want to bother reading it.  Even though I doubt, I am going to take a step. Each step I take beyond the doubt I find that I am capable of more.  A deep well of strength exists within us all to accomplish the amazing in our life.

Take a moment to reflect on some of the things you have accomplished that required courage to push beyond doubt.  How might reminding yourself of that help you push into your current struggles, or begin a new challenge?