Sunday, December 30, 2012

More than a one-month gym membership



 I am committed to the process of change


I rarely set resolutions for the new year.  Occasionally I have silently thought that if it isn't too difficult and I have enough time maybe I should possibly consider eventually getting around to perhaps making some sort of positive change like getting in shape or something like that.  That approach hasn't worked out very well for me.

Change is a process that first requires a firm commitment.  Taking the first step by resolving to make a change helps promote self-reflection and gives me a moment to assess where I am and where I want to be.  This year I have decided to make resolutions based on a feedback tool I learned called start/stop/continue.

There is a saying based on Buddhist tradition that says you can't say no until you know what yes is.  Before I can stop a particular behavior I need to know what will be replacing it.  What are the positive things I want in my life that will fill the void of what I am tying to stop doing? It is also important for me to identify what practices I want to continue that have proven to be valuable.

Change is never easy but I commit today to stay engaged in that process.  To help facilitate that I would like to share some of my current resolutions so that I can be accountable to myself and others.

Start: I will practice authenticity by being open and sharing my emotions with others.  I have a tendency to hold in what I feel or judge myself for feeling a particular way (I discussed this in greater detail here: http://canffirmations.blogspot.com/2012/12/all-inno-bluffs.html )

Stop: I have a bad habit of engaging in negative self-talk.  I am my own worst critic and when I allow internal dialogue to undermine my best self I sabotage my ability to make healthy changes.

Continue: I have been making efforts to be more transparent and vulnerable.  This blog for example has pushed me to be painfully honest with myself and how I share my experiences with others.  It stretches me in very uncomfortable ways but I have seen how it is benefiting me and I want to keep pushing into the places where I have need for growth.

What are you willing to commit to? Feel free to use the comments to share any resolutions you have and to give or receive encouragement from others. 


4 comments:

  1. I'm going to think on this. It's tempting to just say I'm going to commit to the same things you wrote because they're things I need to work on so bad! What a great post.

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    1. Isn't great that we always have something else to work on? How boring would life be if we got things right all the time? Thanks for the comment Aimee!

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  2. Love it....you can't say no until you know what yes is. I haven't heard that saying before, and I know it will be something that will stick with me.

    I'm not big on resolutions either, but each time I read one of your affirmations it causes me to pause and evaluate my own life and things I need to work on. I've been thinking of a resolution for a good part of the day, and I keep coming back to working towards a better overall balance.

    I'm all over the place. I tend to have tunnel vision when I'm stuck with a dilemma or working on a project. I get so focused on reaching a resolution that everything else falls by the wayside.

    Your post titled Process > Product discussing your affirmation, I am patient and accepting of myself and others, really hit home with me. I will borrow this and post it somewhere to remind me everyday to slow down and embrace the process of life. An important part of that process for me will be learning how to better manage my time each day in an effort to achieve balance.

    I know it will take some time to find the right balance, especially when there are so many parts to that equation. I also know that when I find a good balance, it will undoubtedly change the next day, so the second part of my resolution will be flexibility.

    One of my favorite things about baseball is watching a hitter at the plate work a count. Every player has favorite pitches and pitch locations, but to be a great hitter they don’t wait around for them. They work the plate and with a full count they will foul off ball after ball until they finally get a hit or strike out. Whether it’s what they want or not, they have to be ready for whatever crosses the plate.

    I can work on achieving better balance in my life, but remaining flexible and ready for whatever life throws at me will be key in maintaining that balance.

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  3. I love the baseball analogy. I'm always impressed with how they are able to just fight off those good pitches until they have something they can handle. The hitters that guess at what is coming and expect a certain pitched are the ones that are easily fooled. Flexibility is definitely something I can work on. Thanks for the great comment!

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