I am strengthened by my bonds with others
I have not been able to ride my motorcycle for 2 weeks. Not because I think it's too cold but I seem to have an electrical problem and I am having trouble getting it started. Beyond knowing it's probably electrical I do not have the first idea what is wrong or how to go about fixing it.
I have often tried to go it alone in life. Somewhere along my path I think I picked up the idea that I'm supposed to be able to figure things out and do it all on my own. When I run into something that I am unable to do it frustrates me. The last thing I want is to ask someone for help. Even when help is offered I often turn it down.
It feels deeply satisfying to help others and to share my gifts with them or assist others along their path. Why do I deny that opportunity to others by refusing to ask for help when I need it?
I am learning that my greatest strength comes from the threads that tie me together with others. The things I value most in this life have not been accomplished on my own working in solitude or relying upon my own strength. When I recognize the need to work with others toward a common goal I see the foolishness of believing that I have to rely only on myself or that it is weakness to ask for help. A single thread is easily broken but when woven together with others grows in strength exponentially becoming powerful and unbreakable.
I am very excited that help has been offered to fix my bike and I am gratefully accepting it knowing that it strengthens us both. I'm grateful for everyone I know that is willing to reach out to assist me along my path. It is so much nicer walking together!
After reading this I immediately thought about our family and, despite our numbers, how independent we all are! I wish I had realized how valuable our family was when I was younger, and that instead of withdrawing and feeling like I had to go it alone, I could have reached out and asked my family to help me carry some of my load when it became too much for me to bear. Instead of closing myself off from everyone, I should have opened the flood gates. How different things would be now if I had been better about asking for help.
ReplyDeleteWe’re very similar in our reluctance to ask for help, but knowing that I’m not alone in resisting it has made it easier for me to identify when I need to allow others to help me. It also serves as a reminder that just because help isn’t requested all the time, it doesn’t mean it’s not needed. I may need to ask others how I can help them, especially when I know they may find it difficult to ask.
I have this same reluctance to ask for help or to acknowledge that I need others, although I like to think that every year I am getting better at managing this and allowing myself to need others and therefore bring them into my life. Years ago, I had an "ah ha" moment where I realized that the food storage I was amassing was less about being prepared for some disaster and more about never having to ask somebody if I could borrow something that I didn't have. My therapist challenged me to on a weekly basis ask a neighbor to borrow something, even if I already had it in my food storage. Surprisingly, I developed two particularly great friendships from such a seemingly insignificant act.
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