No thanks, all full up here

My dump is closed

My office needs a little cleaning out.  As I was trying to organize some papers I found myself putting many of them into my "junk drawer." What I usually shove into that drawer is anything that I am not sure what to do with, or things that I am not ready or willing to deal with.  I have had various junk drawers, boxes, rooms, and sheds over the years.  Sometimes I collect a lot of unnecessary items for the "just in case" moments.  I have moved these items, shuffled them around but rarely, if ever, have I used them.  They essentially amount to clutter.

I carry around more than just physical trash.  Looking internally I see a collection of unexpressed feelings, unresolved conflicts, relational problems, self-defeating thoughts, unrealized goals, and regrets.  Sometimes when others bring their own junk and lay it at my feet I think that perhaps I should just add it to my pile.  I may even welcome it because it can be a distraction or excuse not to handle my own issues that need cleaning up.  I might falsely believe that if I can handle their garbage it will somehow take care of my own.  As I collect more trash it can start to become difficult to sort out what is mine and what is not.  This is particularly true when accused, bullied, manipulated, cajoled, made out to be a villain, or supplicated as a rescuer as a reason for taking on what is not mine.  I have plenty of garbage to manage on my own without assuming the responsibility for things that are neither my responsibility nor within my power to fix.  I have my own path to walk and on that journey I can take accountability for what is mine and also recognize when something is not my responsibility to assume.  I will work on what I can internally while maintaining healthy boundaries.  To take on what is not my responsibility robs others of the opportunity to grow and hijacks my own process.