Committed

I am firmly committed

Working toward making the changes needed to reach my full potential is without question the hardest thing I have ever done. Old patterns and ways of thinking can be difficult to alter. Sometimes I get direct opposition to the things I want for myself.  At other times the danger comes from wanting to avoid the hard work it takes to accomplish my goals. There are even times when apathy or distractions keep me from focusing on where I want to go. Nothing of value comes without difficulty. 

When I look back a day, week, or years from now I want to remember this as a time I pushed through all of the potential barriers and made it through. It does not need to look perfect, I just need to persevere. I want to see that when I fell I got back up, when things got difficult I persevered, and that I stayed true to my authentic self. The only regrets I will hold is if I give up before my journey is finished. 

Today I commit to continue walking my path. 

"Wanting something is not enough. You must hunger for it. Your motivation must be absolutely compelling in order to overcome the obstacles that will invariably come your way." - Les Brown

Stop chasing cheese

I respect my limits and persevere with urgency, not haste

I am getting older and have noticed that sometimes when I am playing sports my mind moves more quickly than my body has the ability to respond. In those moments I realize that if I keep pushing beyond my physical limits I am more likely to get sustain an injury, or at the least embarrass myself.

I do not want to curb the passion or desire I have to pursue my goals, but I do need to recognize the necessity to be patient with myself.  My journey can only be traveled one step at a time, one day at a time, and it is marked by perseverance not speed.  I may find moments when what I need is to just slow down, breathe, and be gentle with myself.  If I run faster than I have strength I may find myself tripping and falling face down in the dirt. 

I am reminded of an annual tradition in Gloucester England where a giant wheel of cheese is rolled down a hill.  Participants chase after it as gravity quickly creates a momentum beyond their bodies abilities to control.  The event quickly becomes a jumble of flailing limbs and  bodies careening off one another. Catching the cheese becomes secondary to the vain attempts to stay upright and avoid major injuries as they crash down the hill.

 

Road trip

I approach life with patience

Last year we took our 2 oldest children to Disneyland.  It was decided that we would split the drive to California over 2 days, but that no mention of the happiest place on earth would be made until after we had arrived.  At first it was tough to dodge some of the frequent questions about where we were going, but it was much better than 11 hours of, "are we there yet?"  My girls' enthusiasm always trumps their ability to be patient and present in the moment.  In that same sense I am often guilty of impatience with myself when considering my growth process. 

I am not where I want to be...yet. It does not matter that I have not reached my destination. I am exactly where I need to be right now.  Even when I do reach a goal, I may see that I still have further to go in refining the vision I have for myself.

The product of my hopes is only relevant in its' ability to help me chart my course. From that point my task is not to lament the distance I have yet to travel, but to set myself in motion and patiently persevere. My focus is to take a single conscious breath, and then another. To take one step in faith, and then another.  In so doing I patiently embrace the process of living.

fight...Fight...FIGHT!!

I never give up

Defeat only comes by refusing to continue the fight. No matter how bruised, bloodied or broken the battle leaves me I will be victorious so long as I keep on fighting. Each battle, won or lost, is valuable if lessons are learned and new skills are honed. I am a fighter and victory is mine.  I refuse to give up on my myself and the journey to reach my full potential.

Mr. Olympia

I am expanding myself

When I was about 15 years old I hit a growth spurt and shot up 4 inches.  I had always loved playing basketball and at 6'3" I was suddenly taller than most of my classmates.  I got the opportunity to play for the High School team and although I had a great time playing I did not enjoy the mandatory weight room sessions.  

Growing up I had experience helping my dad haul wood every summer as well as working for a local farmer moving sprinkler pipes and bucking hay.  Those activities gave me what I like to describe as a "wiry" toughness but with long arms and a thin frame I was behind the curve when it came to bench pressing or the other types of weight lifting exercises we had to routinely do before practice.  I usually did my best to conserve my energy and just do what I had to in order to get by without being noticed.  I was afraid to try and get better because it was something I was not very good at.

One week my coach decided to hold a weight lifting contest.  I did not fair very well on most of the upper body contests but when it was time to do the squat I decided to push myself.  The contest went back and forth between me and another player and even though each lift felt like it was all I would be capable of  I just kept adding more weight.  I benched nearly 80lbs more than my previous best.  

 

Until I am tested I never know how strong I can be. Sometimes the tests come from external challenges but I must also be willing to stretch myself when I have become complacent or comfortable.  I often hold back for fear of failure but regret does not come from doing my best and coming up short, it is a result of having never pushed myself to see what I am capable of. Each time I feel I have hit my limit I will persevere and expand myself.  I will not see my limits as failures or fixed borders but as opportunities to grow and work towards reaching my full potential.     

"If we wait till we're ready, we'll never get started."  Eleanor Roosevelt

 

Stuff your platitudes in a sack

"It's always darkest before the dawn."
"This too shall pass."
"When you get to the end of your rope tie a knot and hold on."

blah blah blah blah blah

When I actually need it I don't want to hear motivational crap or have someone tell me everything will be alright.  What it feels like for me in those dark places is a sense of utter hopelessness or unfettered anger.  In that place where all my best laid plans seem to be for naught.  The only luck I have is bad.  My good intentions count for nothing.  My hard work is wasted. Things can't possibly get worse but suddenly they do.  What I feel like doing is throwing up my hands and giving up. What's the point in trying? Every time I do it just blows up in my face.  I am misunderstood and harshly judged.  Why not just give up or give back the same shit that others are throwing at me?

Wait.

Wait even a moment longer, then maybe just a minute or two more.  If you can manage to the end of the day even better! I don't suspect things will be all fixed in the morning but it at least has a chance to be just a little more tolerable.  I don't always know how to do that gracefully but whatever works for you grab hold of it and let it carry you just a step or two further, one moment at a time.
Breath, pray, dig in your heels, fight back, curse, weep, throw rocks, or whatever else will keep you from tossing in the towel or throwing it all away.

Hold out, hang on, and wait to see what may come just around the corner. It might be an outstretched hand, a break in the clouds, or another steep hill to climb.  All good stories have these moments.  Wait and turn one more page. 

I wait with patience and perseverance