I am not alone in my struggles
I still feel like garbage, but today is the first day in a week that at least one of the symptoms of my sickness improved. When I just could not muster the energy or focus to write an affirmation the last few days I noticed how quickly I found myself moving into shame. I have committed to writing daily and when I fall short of that I tend to be hard on myself. Rather than treating myself with kindness and understanding of the circumstances I face I piled on blame for coming up short. My focus is on what I did not accomplish rather than my best efforts being enough.
Today it also reminded me of a conversation I had not long ago with a mother who mentioned how some mothers hate this holiday. For some, Mother's Day might not be a day to celebrate the incredible sacrifice and love required of motherhood, but instead serves as a reminder of the ways they judge themselves as having come up short. The responsibility of raising another human being is not a small or unimportant task. Children are good at pushing the utmost limits of patience, compassion, sanity, sleep, and emotion. I would argue that to be perfect as a mother is clearly impossible but at the same time does not deter them from trying. Despite doing the best they possibly can, and going beyond what even seems humanly possible, it may still feel like failure when driven by those lofty expectations.
I think that many of us feel this way in various aspects of our lives, whether it be as a parent, at work, in our relationships or communities. I also suspect that many of us feel alone in that shame. The messages around us seem to say that everyone else has got it together, that we are the only ones to struggle.
Today I choose to believe that despite my struggles I am enough. I will also choose to be kind with myself as I make mistakes and learn from those experiences. As I do this I will be authentic with others so that I will not miss opportunities for connection and support as we all struggle along our paths together.
Today I honor and recognize mothers, and all who are willing to give of themselves in striving greatly to love and care for others.
This speaks to the core of most people's struggles in life including my own. "How/why do I keep on trying when I never accomplish all that I envision?" I need to realize I must rely on my higher power and others. I am enough alone, but with others I can accomplish what I envision and meet any struggle.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this post. It was my first Mother's Day and I am grateful and excited to be a part of the "Mom Club". I don't have any delusions about being a perfect mom or trying to be one but I am perfectly in love with my son. With the new knowledge of how much mothers love their children it makes me that much more grateful for mine and for all those mothers in my life that I am fortunate to know.
ReplyDelete