Breakdown

I am making the repairs needed to maintain the things I value

Things have been falling apart on me lately. In the last few days one of the main pipes for my secondary water sprung a leak, the back tire on my motorcycle wore down to the threads, the battery in my car died, and last night I got sick. Even if I am taking care of my body or doing regular maintenance on all the things I use it should be expected that things will wear down or break. 

The lesson I am trying to remember today is that things can be fixed. I am not going to give up on the lawn, sell my bike, ditch the car, or start planning my funeral. In some situations the repairs might be expensive- like the $230 it will take to replace, mount, and balance the rear tire on my bike. It might also take time to do the repairs- if my daughters are any indication, whatever disease they have passed along to me is likely to stick around for awhile, but with time I will heal. 

I used to be terrified of having conflict in my relationships, even differences in opinion seemed scary because I was afraid that it would damage the relationship. I was afraid that once things broke down the relationship would be doomed. Conflict is inevitable in any relationship and knowing that repairs can be made is the first step in engaging with the process of resolving them. Instead of avoiding them for fear of what might happen I can now recognize that even if time and effort will be needed things can often be repaired. Sometimes repairs come from listening, saying I am sorry, forgiving, or sharing my feelings authentically. With practice that process can even become a new skill- the first time I tried to fix the main line for the sprinkler water it took me multiple tries and many hours to finally fix it, this time around I was able to finish it in about 30mins on the first attempt. Even if it might require some outside help- I needed to borrow some tools to change out the battery today -I can ask for that assistance and repairs can be made. 

These experiences have reminded me that even when something eventually starts to wear down I can trust that things can be repaired, and that the process itself can be a strengthening and learning experience. The things I value most in life I have had to work hard to achieve and maintain. The more work I put into making repairs to relationships that I value the more I will treasure the closeness within them.