Friday, March 29, 2013

See me

I am willing to be seen

Markers, pens, crayons, pencils, lipstick, anything that might be seen as an implement of expression for my daughter's artistic vision is a dangerous item to be left within reach or climbing distance. I love that she enjoys drawing, I just sometimes wish she did not see the world as her canvas.  Her creations are not limited to paper but may at times be found on a wall, book, the TV screen, counter-top, or her own body.  I once caught her in the act of expressing herself with a green highlighter all over her face and legs.  When I looked at her she put her hand up and said, "no see me Dad, no see me."

I sometimes make mistakes that take more than a little soap and water to wash off.  I have times when I do not want to be seen.  No see my... fear, shame, weakness, mistakes, pain, broken places... 

I put up my hands and try to hide. But even when I am hiding what I really want is to be seen.  I want to be seen even in my mistakes and pain.  I want someone to see me and not turn away.  Until I open myself to be seen completely in all my imperfections I will never have the experience of being truly connected. I will put down my hands and let myself be witnessed, trusting that what is seen is worthy of being loved and understood. 

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