Thanks for kicking me in the ribs sweetie.

I am living in an attitude of gratitude.

I'm not exactly sure what time my kids tried to wake me up this morning but it felt a little too early for my taste.  They were understandably excited to open presents. The youngest however was not yet awake and so I did my best to stall them and buy a few more minutes of sleep for her.  My first few attempts at distracting them fell flat and for the next few minutes it seemed to get progressively worse whatever I tried.

"How many more hours until Christmas?"
"I want to open my presents now!"
"Let me jump on your rib cage and kick you in various soft and painful areas!" They didn't exactly announce that last one.....

One of my younger sisters is due to have her baby any day now and I started to reflect on the birth of my own children.  I began telling them the stories of the day they were  born.  As I told each of them about that special day I felt a deep welling of gratitude.  It bought a few moments, but more importantly it has completely altered my day.

It is not uncommon for me to fall into the trap of focusing on what is missing or difficult in my life instead of the abundance I have been blessed with. No matter how tough things are if I take but a moment to catalog my blessings I see that I have been given many gifts. Recognizing all that I have to be grateful for then leads me to the challenge of allowing myself to feel a fullness of gratitude.

Feeling gratitude for me is an act of vulnerability.  It feels risky. Sometimes I mistakenly think that if I temper my feelings of happiness I might feel less disappointed or hurt if I lose something I love. Expecting the worst or not allowing myself to really sink into feelings of happiness, gratitude and joy is a defensive mechanism to protect me from the feelings of pain that can come from loss. I lose so much more when I fail to fully appreciate what I have. I can't control what will come or go in my life, but if I never appreciate what I have for fear of being hurt if I lose it, I cheapen the richness and depth of those blessings. It stunts my ability to express thankfulness to my Higher Power and to others.  Today I live with an attitude of gratitude that flows through me without barriers.