I am fully committed
I
have often fancied myself a bit of a romantic. On more than one
occasion I have organized mega dates that were planned out to the finest
detail. I could imagine everything unfolding perfectly in my mind. My
idealism was fueled by movies, music, and stories that portrayed the
quintessential love story of happily ever after.... lies, lies, lies.
M.
Scott Peck noted that mental health increases as we pursue reality at
all costs. Romanticism is the idealism of life and relationships, by
definition it's antonym is realism. I understand the appeal of feeling
like once love is found the struggle ends and everything else is easy.
All you need is love, right? After experiencing 16 years beyond were a
typical movie would run the end credits, I can conclude that those
idealistic views of relationships are unrealistic. Nobody rides off
into the sunset on a white horse with their prince or princess. The
truth is not always very popular and does not sell out box offices, but
the reality is relationships are hard work. To realize the ultimate
potential of what a relationship can promise requires more than
expressing love, it requires vulnerability and the willingness to fully
commit.
Fully
committing to another person means that I am willing to witness their
journey, their joy and pain, successes and failures, to see their
humanness and let them see mine. It is a commitment that must be made again and again and especially when things are difficult. This
is the type of commitment to vulnerability that creates true
connection. I have yet to find any romantic ideal in music,
literature, or film that can match it. The transcendent beauty of
knowing, and being known authentically in all its' imperfection and
messiness is unparalleled. Today and everyday I am committed to
relationships based on finding true connection, not a fairytale ending.
At the end of the day when for no logical reason I am blissfully happy to see my husband walk through the door and can't help but smile a huge smile because the moment he sees me he has big smile on his face and a sparkle in his eyes. When our eyes meet and our spirits are actually silently communicating from across the room. When all this occurs amid the dirty dishes, kids screaming and wrestling each other, the lovely food splotch on my tee shirt from me trying to finish dinner, all while helping the kids with their homework. Not to mention the constant stresses of everyday life....that moment is the where all the fairytale incredibly romantic, walk off into the sunset with music playing magic happens and is real. That is where for a few seconds there is a true fairytale ending. I totally believe in it. To me this inexplicable joy that can be found in overcoming the hardships of everyday life together, even though I don't feel like I'm pulling it off beautifully or gracefully, is the fairytale ending. The fairytale is never without conflict...and in the end happier ever after describes true happiness and is very real. It is truly magic because it defies the logic of reality. Now granted this doesn't happen every day, but often enough to keep me believing in fairytales. -Jenn Aceves
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing Jenn. I think those feelings that are grounded in the reality of nothing being perfect is what creates the joy. It is deep and meaningful because it was a choice and took effort, and that is very different from the fairytale endings I see described where everything is easy and wrapped in a pretty bow.
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