10k

Being authentic is always enough

I am not entirely sure what to say right now. I wrote #79 last month to mark view number 5,000 for Canffirmations. I decided that I would do something again when it reached 10k views. I wanted the post to be a good one. At the time I estimated that would occur somewhere around July or August if things continued as they were so I figured I had plenty of time to come up with something.  Instead it reached that mark sometime early this morning and I have been trying to figure out what to say all day. I have given up on trying to say anything amazing, but I would like to share a few thoughts about what the experience of writing these affirmations and sharing them has been like for me. I found something to affirm for myself in each of them. 

I recognize and take opportunities to be grateful

The first and most important thing is to thank you. Thank you for reading. Thank you for the comments. I know that commenting has a certain level of vulnerability attached to it and I am grateful for your willingness to share your thoughts and wisdom with me. Thank you for walking along beside me on this journey. I am ever hopeful that what I share provides something useful for you in your own journey, and for that reason reaching this milestone encourages me to continue writing and sharing. Thank you.

I am practicing authenticity and vulnerability

Vulnerability and authenticity is HARD to do. I have surrendered the idea of being it, but it is something I continue to try and practice each day. I practice being authentic in my emotional experiences both with myself and in sharing them with others, I practice reminding myself that I am enough, I practice letting my walls down so I can connect with others. Sometimes the practice feels somewhat effortless and exciting, but most of the time it is a grueling lesson I am needing to learn again and again, and I have to glance back to see that I have actually made progress. 

My story is important

Stories are important. Telling little pieces of my story has allowed me to see how in the process of telling it and retelling it, I learn something about myself and make sense of my experiences. In addition, it allows me to begin fully owning my story and choosing how I will write the ending. 

I have learned how inspiring the stories of others are. The affirmations and unique voices that each of the guest posters brought here has added a depth and richness that I could never have accomplished on my own. I believe that everyone has a voice and a story worth telling. The weaving together of our stories creates a beautiful tapestry that binds us tightly together and gives us strength and support to courageously keep walking our paths. 

I am always learning

I have a lot to learn. The more willing I have been to open myself up to learn the lessons that life has to teach me, the more I see how little I really know and how much I have yet to learn. Seeing this has allowed me to take a more holistic approach to situations where I can now breathe and avoid going into crises mode anytime a challenge is presented. I can see more clearly the lessons I have to learn from my experiences, but also recognize that there will always be more to learn. I am human, I have a lot to learn, I am enough right where I am, and it is a long journey.  

I am never alone when I allow my journey to be witnessed

Walking together is so much nicer! As vulnerable as I feel expressing myself in this way it has created a safe place for me to walk my path in authenticity. A place where I can share exactly where I am at in my journey and affirm the things I am working on. It is a place where I can practice taking off the mask and being seen. Each time I do that I find support here from those who are willing to witness my journey and walk beside me for a time. 

Thank you for walking with me today.

Kiss it Better (Guest Post - Jonathan)

It is my pleasure to introduce a guest post by Jonathan Taylor. As a licensed clinical social worker he has seen the power of stories and their ability to free us, or keep us trapped in old patterns. They help make meaning from our experiences. His blog is a place where he can share some of his stories and hopefully inspire others to share theirs as well. I am grateful for his willingness to share one of those stories here.

My pain is real, it is valid, it has impacted me,

and it is a valuable avenue for me

to find the connection and meaning I seek

with those who's relationships I value the most

I have a three year old little boy, he is sweet, thoughtful, smart, and full of life. About two weeks ago, he was playing with some friends and stepped on a thumb tack. He was quickly comforted by the neighbor who's house it was and he was back to playing in no time.

He and I have a little tradition each morning- because of scheduling demands at work, a few nights a week, I am in the office past his bedtime. In the morning when he wakes up, we sit on the living room couch and he tells me about what he did the previous day. The morning after he stepped on the tack he came out of his room limping and whimpering and told me that he, "stepped on a thumb yesterday." He often tells my wife and I about little hurts or discomforts- some emotional and some physical- and the expected response is: "Can I kiss it better?"

I didn't know what had happened the night before- so I didn't know what, "I stepped on a thumb yesterday" meant, but I responded as he expected, "I'm sorry buddy, can I kiss it better?" We took care of the hurt with a kiss and his limp was miraculously gone.

As I thought about our exchange later that day, I laughed at what I perceived as some dramatization on his part- clearly his foot didn't hurt enough to legitimately warrant a limp, a kiss made it all better. Then it struck me- he didn't want help with any physical pain- he wanted acknowledgement that his pain was real and that it impacted him at one point in time.

I often tell myself, "I am over it, it doesn't hurt anymore" and I don't tell the story of my pain to anyone. I miss out on an opportunity to connect and to have my experience recognized and validated when I only share pain that I currently feel.

My pain is real, it is valid, it has impacted me, and it is a valuable avenue for me to find the connection and meaning I seek with those who's relationships I value the most.