I am focused on internal rewards
My eldest daughter has often been an inspiration, encourager and even contributor to this blog. I was excited and proud when she wanted to be a guest poster. I have kept her updated on how many people have read her affirmation and when she receives comments. We were riding in the car this weekend when she asked me, "How come I only get one compliment on my blog?"
I let her know that I often do not get comments on my posts either and that not everybody who reads it and likes it will always leave a message. She seemed disappointed. I related.
I thought about how often I obsess over page counts, and that just a few days prior I had been in the same position of worrying about not getting any comments on a particularly vulnerable post I had written. Often I find myself stuck (right now for example) over exactly how to write an affirmation. I worry about how it will be received, what people will think of me when they read it. My focus shifts from writing authentically for the goal of supporting my own growth process to looking for external validation.
It is nice to receive approval or praise from others, but if I always look for validation from the outside I may relinquish my power of self-definition. If I need constant approval for what I do and who I am, I may begin to measure my success and failure by the ever shifting measuring sticks of others. The intrinsic value of doing what is right because it is true and authentic to who I am is the source of my own integrity. I will keep my focus on the internal reward of doing what is consistent with my true self.
