Rollin', rollin', rollin'

I am building positive momentum towards my goals

When I was about 8 our house had a basketball hoop nailed to the garage above our driveway. I liked shooting baskets despite barely being able to get the ball above the rim. The family truck was often parked in that part of the driveway so my dad would have to move it whenever I wanted to play. It was a stick shift and I had frequently watched him push on the clutch, put it in neutral and just let it roll slowly down the gradual slope of the cement without ever turning it on. 

One summer day I decided I wanted to shoot some hoops. My dad was at work and I figured I could just back up the truck myself. I pushed in the clutch, popped it in neutral and let it start to roll backwards. When it looked like I had enough room to play I let off the clutch, but to my chagrin the truck did not stop. It kept rolling and I had no idea why. I tried pushing on the brake but nothing happened. As my speed and momentum increased so too did my panic. I didn't know what to do. I gripped the steering wheel and closed my eyes as I rolled out of the driveway and right into the street. I felt my body jerk when I rammed into the gutter on the far side of the street. The truck was blocking one lane of traffic and after watching one or two cars swerve around me someone mercifully stopped to help. I was fortunate not to have been hit, but by now all I had on my mind was how I was going to get myself out of this mess without being caught by my parents.  With an offer from the man who stopped to help me get the truck out of the street I ran into the house and asked my mother ever so casually where the truck keys where. 

"Why?" My mother asked. 

"Oh, no reason..."

I did not make it out of that situation without detection or consequence but it has reminded me today of the power of momentum. For example, depending on conditions an average size train can take upwards of a mile to stop once the engineer fully applies the brakes. Once something like patterns of behavior are set in motion it can require enormous counter measures to slow down or change directions.  If I have negative patterns in my life that have been repeated frequently I need to do more than merely wish things were different and tap on the brakes once or twice. I must have the willingness to fully commit to the process. Once the brakes are fully applied it is then possible to do the work necessary to change direction.  I can also use this principle to recognize that I can build positive momentum as well.  That momentum can create excitement when I feel myself moving with purpose towards accomplishing my goals and realizing my full potential. Today I am building positive momentum.

Pushing reset

I am beginning anew

Sometimes it feels like I need a giant reset button.  It can be frustrating to look at certain patterns I've created and wonder how I got here.  Even when I have the clarity to recognize the need for change it can be difficult to let go of what I am used to.  I have heard it said that the hell we know is sometimes preferred over the hell we don't know.

Although past behavior can be the greatest predictor of future actions, I am not a prisoner of my past. Each day I can choose to make changes to the well worn paths I've made. Even when those changes seem small they can make an enormous difference on my future.

"It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power." - Alan Cohen

The road more travelled...

I am blazing new pathways and consciously traveling a new road

Last week I was driving my daughter to tumbling when I got a phone call. I had only been talking for a moment when my daughter started hollering at me from the back seat.  I semi-politely told her that I was talking on the phone and that I couldn't hear.  She became more insistent and when it was clear that she was not going to let me talk I asked her less politely what she needed.

"Dad, you're going the wrong way!"

Indeed I was.  I had turned on the road that I typically use to get to the freeway and is one of the most frequent routes I drive.  I sheepishly turned the car around and started in the right direction to get her to the class.

When I am not focused on where I want to go, I end up in the place I've always been.  The pull to walk all of the old pathways in my life is strong.  Even when I'm paying attention I might find myself being pulled to engage in the same old patterns I'm used to.  I've developed patterns in the way I interact with others, how I handle stress, or deal with conflict. In all aspects of my life I've created well worn trails and without thinking I can travel them over and over again.  The pathway to healing or change is not well worn and requires daily effort. Today I will consciously travel the new road that leads me to the destination I want for myself.