IntoMEsee

I see myself fully, and love myself completely

I long for connection with others.  When I feel alone or isolated I am capable of being profoundly sad.  Not a case of the Monday's, moody, woke up on the wrong side of the bed, a little bit gloomy sad. I'm talking about the I can't breath, trapped in a well, can't get out of bed, physically hurts sad.  Unfortunately even when I'm around others who care for me I am still capable of feeling alone in the crowd.

No amount of compliments or expressions of heartfelt affection are capable of penetrating to me in those moments.  I don't have anywhere for them to land because I don't feel lovable.  My greatest barrier to connection is a false belief that I'm not worth loving.  If I want intimacy I need to into-me-see and find the place for love to land.  A place where I recognize my worth and value as inherent and unchangeable.  It is not hard for me to love others, but for that love and connection to be all it is capable of requires that I love myself first.

I know many of the barriers and walls that I build around that place and I will find the affirmations to chip away at them in time.  For today what I need most is to begin seeing in myself something to love.  Not a conditional love requiring me to do something, or be something I'm not, but a love that accepts all of me and sees a timeless worth that is, always has, and always will be there.